20 years after communism

we went to prague. gilded, colorful, ornate buildings. but what struck me most was how the noise of the city seemed to disappear into the air. it was surprisingly quiet with an energy completely different from bcn. calm, relaxed. on wenceslas square, where dubcek and havel declared the end of communism and people protested and demonstrated, department stores and chains have taken over. capitalism after communism, man.

the city is beautiful though. the city planners lit the streets and buildings like paintings. claire and i visited statues of two men pissing on the czech rep and a car on four legs, the jewish town and the oldest jewish cemetery in europe, prague castle (the largest in europe), old town square and charles bridge, a hilarious museum of ghosts and legends, a hawaii-themed bar, an awesome one with old guys playing music, and walked around. we also saw a film about chinese punk rockers. a lot in two days.

when we first arrived, i was the only non-white person i saw for hours. but then we got to the tourist part of town and tourists mean diversity!

they declared communism over on this balcony. under it, there's a department store.

interesting.....

nice corner.

i've decided

that i'm going to try to stop thinking about life too much. i think too much thinking about life may not be good for my life. so instead, i'm going to try to enjoy it for a while and take in new experiences without translating them too much. this may be because i'm leaving chicago for a while again, and if i think about it, i'm not going to enjoy the trip that i'm going on.

in other news, i'm excited about getting a new apartment and decorating it for my return. i was obsessed with lord of the rings years and years ago, so if you want to build a hobbit home, find out how.

the most frustrating thing

is when you're trying to write a story, but the words just aren't coming to you. when you have an idea of what you write about, and you think about the sentences and words you want to use in your head, and everything there makes sense and a story starts to form, but when you sit down and actually want to write it, to put these thoughts to paper, your beautifully constructed thoughts just don't translate. it totally blows -- esp. when you're trying to write commentary for public radio. i suspect this happens to many writers, and probably musicians, artists, and creative types too.

i'm finding myself

anxious to start my life back up in chicago. a problem since i'm set to return to europe on october 16 to travel and end up in paris in november. when i went away nearly four months ago, the life i had here was not fulfilling. i went away to try to figure things out and though i can't say that things are crystal clear for me, i want to put what i know into practice.

two years ago, after completing my fellowship at the academy for alternative journalism here, i found myself unemployed. and now, i'm unemployed again but a different person. two years seems like a long time ago now, but it really isn't. a lot can happen in two years. though i still have no idea what i'm doing -- except that i want to work at chicago public radio -- everything is different. i keep talking about this. bart says that i'm in crisis, but i don't know if it's exactly a crisis, more like a state of complete uncertainty and a want to move forward now that i'm ready.

a smile

back in chicago

and it's not too weird, even though life, as i've said, is so different. eva says that i should give time to time and now's the time to adjust. it's true, i need patience, with time, the future, life. i was stuck in a corner before and now i need to explore the whole room.